The Patakis Episodes
by ioxmo
Summary: This is my own version of the Patakis. Further chapters in the works.
1. The Pilot

Episode 1: The Pilot

by ioxmo

The back of her head bouncing off the aged brick wall like a basketball, Rhonda let out a whimper as Helga took two handfuls of her red, belly shirt. She offered no resistance and pressed her palms against the gritty wall. A crowd quickly gathered, not offering any interference, but instead, encouragement.

"Let me go you butch." She growled, ignoring the sharp pain resonating through her head.

She could feel her shirt get looser on the left side and wished she had kept her mouth shut. She slid against the wall and landed with a thud on the grass as Helga's right hook connected flush against her cheek. A smacking sound echoed for a bit causing the crowd to gasp. Rhonda tried to roll away, but was soon defenseless. Helga raised her right hand and struck the cheek. She did it again and again. As it rose once more, it was hooked by another's arm, a teacher. This unknown teacher pulled her off and held her back as she struggled to get free. Tears and an obvious discoloration of Rhonda's cheek were visible as she lowered her arms.

"Let me go!" Helga growled, ignoring the young, male teacher's orders to quit.

The school nurse soon attended to Rhonda and Helga managed to calm down a bit. She would soon be dragged to the principal's office.

The office was quaint and quiet with only the continuous tick of a plain black and white wall clock and the gentle hum of an aging computer filling the room. Helga sat in an uncomfortable seat, slouching, with her arms crossed. Her eyes darted around, looking at all the neatly organized office commodities. A swish-swish sound started coming from behind and was followed by the closing of a wooden door. Helga looked up at the principal whilst keeping her brow furrowed as he took a seat at his desk. She stretched the fingers of her right hand out over and over, feeling sore. The man unbuttoned his light brown sports coat as he adjusted himself.

"You're in very big trouble, Ms. Pataki." He said as he leaned towards her.

She continued to stare at him.

"Your parents have been called." He continued.

She just rolled her eyes.

"Now, we've tried to be lenient in the past with your...antics, but now you've gone too far. We're going to have to suspend you from school for two days."

"Oh great, a vacation." She sighed.

He also sighed, stroking at his brown beard and leaning even further towards her.

"Why did you hit her?" He asked, trying to figure out exactly what her problem is without asking, "Why?"

Helga stared for a moment.

"Because she's a pissy, snobby, annoying little bitch!" she shouted, immediately slouching deeper into the chair and looking away from him.

He scolded her for using such language, but she was no longer paying him any attention. She ignored his onslaught for the next couple minutes until her father arrived.

Her father was strangely quiet during the ride home, but started screaming just seconds after she flopped on the couch. It was much of the same she gathered, still ignoring the vast majority of his words. Eventually, he stomped out as he heard his wife dropping something in the kitchen. Helga pulled at each side of the audacious pink bow holding her lone ponytail in place, untying it. A couple minutes passed as she played with the bow and her hair, but her father never returned. She rose from the couch and climbed the stairs to her room.

"Who do they think they are?" She said, pressing away from the door as she closed it, "Punish me and not that little snob."

She kicked her already crooked nightstand, misaligning it further, as she reached her bed. Her soft hair spread as she flopped onto her pillow and hugged it.

"I guess this is why I don't have any friends." She mumbled, kicking her gray tennis shoes onto the floor. Her light pink shirt and blue jean shorts snagged as she pulled herself closer to the opposite side of the bed. After a sigh, she felt down and in-between the mattress and box spring, pulling out her old locket. She stared into the nine year-old Arnold's eyes and actually grinned for the first time in a while. The joy was short-lived as her face turned to sorrow and a hand supported her cheek.

"I wish you didn't leave so suddenly." She muttered, "Didn't even get to say goodbye."

After another few seconds of staring, she turned his picture facedown and rolled to her back. When she closed her eyes, she felt a tear stream down each temple.

"Why can't I get over it?" She thought, folding her arms on her stomach, "I've tried to like other guys."

She pulled at her shirt, eventually revealing her belly button.

"Maybe because he's the only thing in my miserable life that makes me happy." She continued thinking.

Her right pinky poked into her navel.

"Yeah, I'm really pathetic." She mumbled, agreeing with a thought.

The bare, white ceiling started causing her eyelids to droop. That is, until a sudden urge came over her. She sprung up and fought of the nauseating blood rush as she made her way to her aged desk. A flick of her wrist spotlighted the writing area. As she sat, she pricked her ears, attempting to increase their sensitivity to detect approaching family members. Silence. She quickly snatched a worn, three-subject notebook from a side drawer and a pen from an improvised pencil holder made from a soda can. With an intense demeanor about her, she quickly ripped an empty sheet away and set the notebook aside. It was so quiet; she could hear the pen's tip against the black cherry hardwood as she wrote the two words that she had repeated many times in the past: Dear Arnold. She had to pause, trying to think of what to write next. With her non-writing hand, she ran her fingers through her hair and rested her jaw on the palm. She began to write:

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been kind of in a "blank" mood lately. Depressed, I guess you could say. I don't think I really am, though. Anyway, everything's pretty much the same here. Mom's drinking is getting worse, or at least it seems that way. They still try and hide it from me like I'm a simpleton or something. Geez, I've known about it since I was seven. Dad just chewed me out for beating up Rhonda and getting suspended for a couple of days. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have, but she just pressed the wrong buttons too many times today. My hand is still kind of sore, too... Oh, remember when I said my worst nightmare might come true? It did...Olga moved back in last week. She's been out most of the time, though, so she hasn't had a chance to annoy the piss out of me...yet. I'm still not clear why she's moving back in, exactly...something must be wrong, though. Mom and dad have been acting differently towards her. Their fawning over her doesn't seem...sincere. Maybe she's pregnant or something. That'd be great to see. Can't even take care of herself and has to move home and now she has to take care of a baby...yeah right. Well, I hate to cut it short, but I have a feeling the Neanderthal is going to stomp his way in here in a minute and tear me a new one. I miss you as always, football-head. Love, Helga.

She started to ascend into euphoria the moment the letter began, but it quickly faded the moment the last dot made its way on to the paper. She let the pen pivot from her grip and slam to the desk as she sighed.

"If only I knew where you were..." She whispered.

She returned the pen and notebook to their proper place and turned off the desk lamp. After a quick peer over her shoulder to ease her paranoia, she pulled open the bottom left drawer of the desk and dug under a large pile of magazines. She pulled out a red folder labeled "Algebra" and quickly filed the letter behind the decoy homework with the dozens of other unsent mail. She felt like ripping the folder to pieces, but controlled her anger and put it back in its hiding place. She did slam the drawer, however.

"Why did I have to be sick that day you said goodbye to everyone?" She growled quietly to herself, "And then you just vanished, like you didn't even care to say goodbye to me."

She was visibly frowning at the crack in her wall and also on the verge of producing tears. Thump...thump. She heard what she assumed was her mother tripping and falling. It seemed to break her away from the anger, causing her to blink and rub her face. Thump. The old desk chair squeaked as she leaned back and rolled her eyes.

The two days passed without incident since she was forbidden to leave the house. The school day wasn't abnormal with the exception of Rhonda's absence. Something Helga didn't even notice until lunch period.

"You know Rhonda hasn't been in school for three days." Nadine said, taking a seat on the indoor lunch bench next to an alone Helga.

"I'm all broken up inside." Helga growled, staring at the soggy nachos she kept stirring with a plastic fork.

"You messed her up pretty good. She didn't want anyone to see the huge bruise you left." She continued.

"She's lucky they pulled me off; I was going to break her nose." Helga responded, shoving in a mouthful.

"You know, she's not always such a bitch." Nadine explained, leaning in and crossing her arms.

Helga stabbed her fork into her food.

"What do you want?" She said abruptly, looking at her.

She noticed Nadine's tightly wound cornrows for a second, then looked into her eyes.

Nadine sighed.

"I want you to stop picking on my friend, ok?"

She sounded very straightforward, causing Helga to frown.

"Why should I? You say she's not always a bitch, but what about when she is? It's simple: If she keeps looking down her nose at me, I'll break her jaw. Got it?"

"But..."

"Look. I've got nothing against you, but if you get in my way with Rhonda, I'll make your eye blacker than it already is!" She growled, raising her fist just a few inches from Nadine's face.

Nadine raised both her palms as she stood.

"Fine. I can see why you always sit alone." She said, walking off.

"Tell me about it." Helga muttered, looking back at her tray and lifting the mound of mushy chips stuck to the fork.

Though the school's punishment had ended, Helga still sulked in her room due to parental restrictions. She spent the first couple hours home from school lying in bed, sporadically tossing darts at the board hanging from the back of her desk chair. Surprisingly, she hadn't missed, perhaps because her anger mapped the trajectory. As she closed an eye to aim for the center, she suddenly lost the will as haunting thoughts in the back of her mind nagged to be brought to the forefront. She plopped her head back and stabbed the dart into her bed sheets. She let her other hand teeter over the small crevice separating the bed and wall before letting the two darts it held plunge into darkness. Suddenly depressed, she closed her eyes in an attempt to comfort herself. She had become dangerously lonely in the past couple weeks and ignoring it was no longer working. Her breathing got louder and slower, self-defense against tears, her one true enemy. Her doorknob shook as someone approached. She quickly swallowed, sucked her lips, and sat up, leaving the sheets impaled. Two stern knocks and the door opened.

"You decent?" Her dad asked, nervously.

"Well, gee, I guess so...Bob." She said, in full view.

Normally, she'd expect a harsh tongue-lashing, but he was unusually clear-cut.

"Yeah, well, look...I'm going to have to go pick up your mother at the police station. Some scumbag ripped off her purse...again."

He coughed and Helga rolled her eyes, as she knew full well what was happening.

"So, I'll be gone for a few hours. Don't you leave this house or else." He barked.

"Fine, dad." She sighed.

She waited for him to close the door before ripping out the dart from the bed.

"Great...mom's in the drunk tank again. I wish she'd just get it together." She said to herself as she plopped back again, "I mean, I know it's hard and all, but come on, go to rehab already...and stop treating me like an idiot that doesn't know any better."

She sighed again, this time with a hint of anger. Without raising her head, she shot the dart at high speed and hit the outer black rim. She thought about sneaking out for a bit, but didn't want to add to the week-and-a-half grounding she had remaining. As that idea died, her mind wandered back to her recent bout of solitude. As the years passed, congregating with her classmates to play impromptu games in the streets and alleyways slowly diminished until it became nonexistent. She remembered leaning against a telephone pole amidst an empty lot where hundreds of games had been played, wondering why nobody ever came anymore as she handled a worn baseball. It was that day she realized they had only been her friend by association and nothing more. Phoebe, as it turns out, only sought the protection of Helga's friendship due to her submissive and meek nature. Despite Helga's constant bossiness, a legitimate companionship, although twisted, spawned between the two. Eventually though, Phoebe had learned to assert herself a bit more aggressively, directly as a result of her "mentor," and thus, didn't need Helga anymore. They never had a falling out, but slowly drifted away from one another as the years passed.

"Man," She sighed, trying to sit up, "I feel I'm full of wet sand."

She wiped away the dampness from her temples with both hands. She glanced over to where her phone used to be before she was grounded.

"I need to talk to her." She thought, trying to remember the last time she did.

It had been almost a month. Shaking gently and stretching her arms around her back, she managed to sit up unsupported. Both legs dangled over the side as she let her head hang.

"How can my life get any worse?" She mumbled after a few seconds.

She heard muffled sobbing and her doorknob began to rattle again. She moaned, knowing what was about to occur.

"Oh, Helga!" her sister squealed, flinging the door open, "It's just so terrible!"

Olga slumped onto the bed, almost tackling Helga as she held her tightly against her bosom. Helga knew any attempt to escape would only constrict the hug, so she had no choice but to enjoy the freshly sprayed perfume wafting in her face.

"Mommy is in jail!" she wailed, squeezing harder, "She hit a parking meter, pretzel stand, and crashed through a bakery store window."

She choked on her own breath.

"There were quarters and Danishes everywhere!"

Helga mumbled something vulgar as she wormed her arms inside the clinch.

"Mm-maybe..." She tried to say, prying away from her sibling, "Maybe she'll straighten up because of it."

Helga finally escaped and slid back a few inches.

"Oh!" Olga chirped as she covered her mouth, "I wasn't supposed to tell you any of this...but I'm just so..."

Her sentence squeaked into incoherence. With a roll of her eyes, Helga sighed.

"I'm not a little kid anymore, Olga." She almost growled.

Olga dropped her hands a bit, letting the liquefied mascara run down her cheek and not her fingers.

"Oh, I know baby sister. I know! But I don't want you to have to deal with such...adult matters."

Helga's eyelids went half-mast and her arms crossed.

"Look, Olga," She said with an abrupt crispness, "You can't control what mom does and neither can I. She's an alcoholic and there's nothing that can be done about it unless she wants to change."

"Helga!" Olga gasped, looking as if she was going to faint.

She was ignored.

"I don't want mom to die, but she won't listen to me. You have to tell her. Tell her about how much you love her and want to see her happy."

The wailing had been slowing and now was only a sniffling whimper.

"You're right, Helga." Olga said in her suspiciously raspy voice, "I have to act before it's too late."

Tears tried flaring up again, but sharp breaths kept them at bay. Helga glanced over to an old alarm clock and let her hands fall to her lap.

"Don't you have a play rehearsal or something to go to?" She asked quickly.

"Oh," Olga muttered as she glanced at the clock herself, "You're right. I need to go. I love you so much baby sister."

She leaned forward and kissed her sister on the forehead, leaving a distinct red imprint.

"Yeah." Helga responded, too annoyed to declare her love.

A minor hug and Olga was gone, leaving the door wide open and annoying her sister even more. However, a sudden feeling of emptiness and regret came over her and she could do nothing but stare at the floor and listen to herself breathe.

A night's sleep didn't seem to alleviate her emotional bareness, though the bright, white classroom was strangely uplifting. Far ahead of her peers in this subject, Helga blatantly ignored the English teacher and stared at the back of Rhonda's head in the front of the adjacent row. As she hadn't dealt with Rhonda's condescending attitude for several days, her hate faded. The teacher yammered on as Helga's eyes began to wander. They came across Nadine, who sat with a stern stare. She obviously noticed Helga watching Rhonda. Helga rolled her eyes and looked down at the unintentionally football-shaped, stick-on eraser on the pencil she rolled back and forth in her left hand. Arnold was the only person to ever make her hellish tomboy personality melt to the core...and she hated him for it. The last thing she wanted others to see was a googly-eyed, boy crazy girl and he could turn her into one in mere seconds.

"I really miss him..." She thought, sighing.

As much as she'd be embarrassed to be seen fawning over a boy, she sure loved doing it.


	2. Hate and Love

Episode 2: Hate and Love

The day was perfect. Not only did the sun's rays perfectly glisten on the lake's rippling water, but also a warm breeze from the south carried a sweet blend of wild flowers. Helga leaned against a pillow she had situated against the side of the old, green boat. Her hair danced freely in the wind as she welcomed the back of Arnold's head to her chest. She plowed through his wild hair with her chin as her arms draped over his shoulders. As her chin neared her chest, he looked up and into her eyes. A large, unconscious smile quickly grew across her face and she slowly rubbed the side of her forehead along his. Words were not necessary, though she could not help letting a giggle escape. She interlaced her fingers just below his ribs and crossed her legs around his, after kicking her sandals off. Her cheek now rubbed him. After discreetly moistening her lips, she turned to let them drag across his long forehead, finally ending in a stationary peck near his brow. She began to slide her hands up his chest as her eyes closed and her lips neared his.

The fantasy came to an abrupt end with an extremely loud crack of thunder. The uncontrollable smile in her dream translated to a lovesick grin as she tried her best to hold on to the all-too-real stimulations. Upon glancing down and seeing her hands interlaced over her own ribs and not of another's, the dream died.

"I just...can't let go." She thought, staring at a circular water stain in her ceiling.

She inhaled deeply, expecting tears. Strangely, they didn't come. They didn't even try to come. Her feeling was more of being empty than being sad. She lay still for a bit before gently turning her head to watch rain patter on the windowpane.

"The first day I can leave the house again and it freakin' rains." She mumbled, "Maybe I should call Phoebe later."

Using what little reserve she had left, she rolled off her bed and stretched. Her desk chair was facing the wrong direction, but she straddled it anyway. Almost the instant her fingers touched the etched plastic knob of desk lamp, she heard her father scream from downstairs. The floor muffled the words but she knew it was directed at her.

"Now what?" She growled, letting her hand slump to the desk in frustration.

The anger festered as evident by her slapping the light switch on her way out.

"There you are." Olga said in her whispery voice, causing her sister to look up from the stairs.

She grabbed Helga by the wrist and yanked her off the bottom step, into the living room. Still tethered to her sister, Helga had no choice but to sit next to her on a recently purchased sofa.

"Daddy needs to talk to us…about mommy." Olga said with a whining lilt.

"Can't you just call them mom and dad?" Helga thought, sliding her eyes towards her sister, "You're almost 25."

"Ok." Bob said, walking in, "I've got some important stuff to say and I don't want any backtalk."

He peered specifically at Helga, who had finally managed to free her wrist.

"And no bawling."

Olga's mouth was already characteristically wobbling. Thunder audibly shook the windows, giving Helga an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I just got back from your mother's sentencing." He said, slicking his gray, wet hair back into place.

"So, she's spending a couple days at her sister's again?" Helga said, knowing the lame excuse all too well.

"Eh...I guess you've known about your mom's problems for a little while, huh?" He said, a bit quieter than normal.

Her pupils moved to her upper eyelids.

"Yeah...a little while." She responded, blinking and returning her eyes to normal.

He sighed.

"She's going to be in jail for two months this time."

Helga suddenly quit slouching.

"Really?"

He nodded, his wrinkled frown showing long-held regret.

"Yeah, but once she's out, it'll be a fresh start...or at least I hope so." He continued, peering off to the side a bit.

Helga sank back into the cushioning, feeling bad about what she had said. Bob sighed.

"I'm heading out to Atlantic City tomorrow to close a deal. I don't want to, but we really need the business. Olga's the boss." He said, pointing at his youngest, "You're not mature enough to stay on your own."

Olga had all her fingers mangled with one another, loosely forming a giant fist.

"Two...whole months?" She squealed, her voice crackling towards the end.

Both her sister and father stared at her. Helga sighed.

"Yeah, I'm the one needing the babysitter." She mumbled under her sister's shrieking.

Friday. Bob was halfway to Atlantic City by the time Helga was in her first afternoon class: art. She loosely doodled a portrait of the famous pro wrestler "Samoa Moe" as she kept thinking about her mother's incarceration. Despite being set for four, only one other person was assigned to sit with her and this person was getting more supplies for water painting. Helga continued thinking, now about going home to her temporary pseudo mother, Olga. Her sister was still as perfect as ever, leaving no "dirt" to be used as blackmail. As she crosshatched areas of the picture, she tried thinking of a place to go after school in order to avoid spending the entire day with Olga.

"Here." Her tablemate said, approaching the table and extending an arm, "I thought you might could use this."

Helga glanced down to see a pliable eraser specifically for drawing.

"Thanks, Lila." She said, yanking it out of her hand.

She sat the eraser down and kept it covered with her left palm for a few seconds before exposing it. Lila set her own supplies next to an unfinished tulip and daisies painting.

"So, Helga, how's your sister's acting career?"

Helga groaned.

"Well, I only had to go see one so far...the same night she moved in."

Lila smiled, crossing her legs.

"It was a smelly, run-down, "quaint" little theatre. And man, I can tell you, she really sucks on stage. A lot worse than everyone else."

Lila listened, but popped open the various colors of her painting palette.

"And since she's still doing these things, I'm pretty sure the stage isn't the only thing she sucks on." Helga added.

A visible crease came between Lila's eyes.

"What else is there besides the stage?"

Helga gently set the pencil down and turned to stare into the epitome of innocence. She fought against verbally embarrassing her.

"Nothing, Lila." She said, looking down and rapping the fingers of her left hand that still rest on the table.

Helga thrust her waist, scooting the chair closer to the table. Both resumed their works in silence for the next few minutes.

"Can I ask you something, Lila?" Helga blurted, interrupting the silence between the two, but not the busy room.

"Sure!" Lila grinned.

Helga sucked in a full-capacity breath of the cold air conditioning.

"Why are you always trying to be my friend? I mean, yeah, you finally got me to stop ignoring you by talking to me every day, all hour. But why?"

"Oh, I guess it's just the way I am." She responded with yet another smile.

Helga let her mouth droop, but not quite enough to be considered a frown.

"No, really. I know you have to have a reason. Tell me the truth."

Helga continued to softly rap her fingers on the pitted table. Lila dropped her hands to her lap and glanced at them for a moment.

"Well, to be just perfectly honest, you looked lonely." She explained, "And you took me under your wing when I moved from the country."

The truth hurt, but Helga hid it.

"Of course, then you did dump garbage on my head..." Lila continued, giggling, signifying it had been long forgiven.

"Actually, that was Rhonda." Helga responded, propping her head on her left palm as she faced Lila, "I just came up with the idea."

Helga displayed a warm, yet devious grin, showing only her right canine tooth.

"Say, Lila," She said, feeling a little relief from her anxiety, "What are you doing after school?

"Oh, well, I have tennis practice." She replied, adjusting the straps of her pale yellow tank top over her freckled shoulders.

Helga was crushed, but hid it just like earlier. However, she had an inkling that Lila had picked up on it as she saw the pity in her eyes.

"Well, you're welcome to come and watch!"

Helga groaned, almost silently.

"Afterwards, we can stop and get some pizza. I'll buy."

"I'm going to regret this," Helga thought, "At least I won't have to go home to Olga so soon...and there's pizza. Hmm..."

With a gentle nod and less-sneaky grin, Helga agreed.

"Ok, I'll be there."

Lila smiled, showing all her teeth. She tried to start working on her painting again, but giggled upon seeing she had forgotten the most important instrument in water painting: water. Helga glanced up from her drawing as Lila rose.

"Forgot the water." She smiled before walking towards two sinks across the room.

Helga listened to the slapping sound of Lila's sandals and noticed her gray short shorts that she would never wear herself.

"See," Helga thought as she returned to her picture, "That wasn't so hard."

Not even having a basic understand of how tennis was played or scored, Helga was bored out of her mind. She sat among a sporadic crowd in a solitary row of bleachers, leaning back with her arms crossed.

"This is getting old." She thought, sliding backwards and into the gap between seats, "What was I thinking?"

She stared into the light gray, overcast sky and continuously ripped at the cuticle of her right index finger with her teeth. She eventually pulled her somewhat faded ribbon out of her pocket, as she had already let her hair down in the final hour, and twisted it around various fingers. Another ten minutes had passed and the ribbon was back in its safe place. Just as she closed her eyes, she heard a commotion. The baker's dozen or so spectators were leaving the stands. Helga climbed back to her seat and noticed the players below were also disbanding.

"Finally." She scuffed audibly as she stretches her sore legs.

Feeling as if she was to get a reward for being patient, she happily bounced down the stairs and met Lila as she waited at the stair's base.

"Ready?" Helga chirped, feeling unusually giddy.

"Sure." Lila said, giggling at how unusual Helga sounded, "Just let me get changed."

They walked to the locker room where Helga waited outside, further stretching her legs. Since she had renewed vigor, the few minutes it took Lila to change went by quickly. The metal door to the locker room swung open outward, hiding Helga from any who exited. Helga noticed Lila's hair was now in a ponytail instead of flowing freely as she usually kept it nowadays. She also noticed a bit of panic as Lila looked around for her. Helga stepped forward and gently placed her left hand on Lila's shoulder.

"I'm rig-" She started to say.

Lila turned and violently jerked away, dropping her duffle bag. A brief moment of silence ensued as Helga stared into her acquaintance's now wide-eyes. Lila breathed sharply before closing her eyes and turned away from the onlooker.

"Gee, you don't have to be so jumpy." Helga said, showing both palms instinctively to appear non-threatening.

Lila quickly bent and retrieved her bag.

"Uh, yeah...you just...startled me. That's all." Lila said quickly, "Let's go."

She turned as if she was hiding something, and started walking. Helga followed, cocking a brow at Lila's strange behavior.

"Alright, I could use a bite."

Helga appreciated non-familial company for once, though conversation seemed slower and somewhat awkward. Lila didn't have much of an appetite, only eating two slices of the medium pizza. Helga characteristically devoured the rest. As they left the pizzeria, Helga thanked her.

"I actually had fun today, Lila." She stated, "You don't know how much I needed that."

"Glad I could help."

Lila sounded a bit flat.

"Bye."

She started to walk away. Helga detected all-too-familiar sorrow in her voice.

"Is something wrong, Lila?"

Lila stopped and twisted just enough to look back.

"No, I'm just kind of tired. I'll see you Monday."

Helga stood motionless as she stared at a bouncing ponytail until it disappeared. She felt badly, thinking she had hurt Lila unintentionally.

"Yeah, I'll see you..." She said, well out of range.

The "sundown hue" that colored everything orange was obvious by the time Helga arrived home.

"Olga! I'm home!" She shouted, wanting to get the welcome wagon over with quickly.

There wasn't an answer. With both hands, she raked all hair from her eyes and slid it behind her ears.

"Olga!" She shouted again.

She almost flopped onto the living room couch, but instead decided to venture into the kitchen. There, she found a small jug oddly sitting on the kitchen table. It was half-full of what looked to be water and had no lid. She moved to it and lifted it by the circular glass handle.

"Whatever." She said as she set it down.

She tugged at her sagging shorts and began to retrieve a glass from a nearby cabinet when she heard a crash coming from the living room. Automatically, she spun and looked at the open doorway. A few seconds later, Olga stepped in.

"Oh, hi baby sister." She said, stretching out her words, "I'm glad you're home."

Helga noticed dried streaks of mascara on her sister's face as she closed the cabinet.

"Come here, I want you to...to try something." Olga mustered, nearing her sibling.

Helga met her near the kitchen table, confused about how serene Olga seemed to be acting.

"Are you sweating?" Helga asked, looking closely at her sister's face in the cool house.

She was ignored as Olga snatched the glass from her hand.

"Try this." She said, filling the small glass about a third full with the nearby jug.

The distinct smell of peppermint filled the air as Olga handed her the glass. Helga looked at it and then at her sister's face. She sniffed the glass and was overwhelmed by mint. Raising the glass slowly, she sipped it. It almost made her gag.

"I can't believe you, Olga." She said, clearing her throat and setting the glass down roughly on the table, "After everything you see mom going through."

Olga stepped uncomfortably close and looked down at her shorter sister.

"It's ok...because when I lost my part...in the play I was sad." She began.

Helga could smell her pungent breath.

"But now I'm not...not so sad." Olga continued, trying to hug Helga.

Now staring at the glass, Helga didn't know what to think.

"Just try it." Olga persuaded, "You're so grumpy...this will make you feel a lot better."

Helga was considering it. After all, they would be alone for the next few days, it was a weekend, and Helga always used sleep and fantasy to escape already. On the other hand, she thought about the day she'd just had. Even though it started slowly and ended on a bit of a sour note, she actually had fun for once. She fondled the glass with her left hand, thinking of her mother, thinking of her life, thinking of Olga and her future, and also thinking of her missing lover. As her index finger rounded the top of the glass, she tried making one of the biggest decisions of her life.


	3. Jagged Alliance

Episode 3: Jagged Alliance

Early morning sunrays quietly illuminated Helga's writing area as she stared at floating dust. Her head was cocked and propped on her left arm as a pen flipped through each finger of her right hand. The paper before her was blank and her mind could not summon the words of regret she wanted to express. The bell would sound for the first class in less than an hour, so she racked her brain in hopes of at least starting it. She kept peeking at her alarm clock, stretching minutes into tenths of hours. After an eternity and no inspiration, she tapped the pen against the paper and forced herself to write:

Dear Arnold, I've never been sicker in my entire life than I was last Friday. I've never been more disappointed with myself, either. I came home from school after hanging out with Lila (yeah, I'll go more into that later) and found Olga drunk. I can't believe she'd drink after what mom's going through. (I'll fill you in on that, too) Long story short, Olga tried to get me to drink of her booze. I thought about it, I thought about it hard. I'm sorry to say this Arnold, but I drank it. I know you're really disappointed in hearing that, and so am I...but let me tell you this, I will never drink anything ever again. I know I drank too much, but she just kept filling my glass. She started crying about something, so I got up, and almost fell down. I was fine until a few minutes in my room. There was this haze that was sort of surrounding my sight when I first started feeling it. It felt really strange. I sat against my bed and just stared at the wall, as it got worse. The haze just kept growing and growing...I really did think I was dying. I tried to stand up to get in bed, but just rolled over and puked...a lot. Next thing I knew, it was 4AM and I was lying next to my own vomit. It was disgusting, but I was too busy puking again soon as I tried getting up. Eventually, I managed to get up and into the bathroom where I showered, sitting down, for at least an hour. I did my best not to slosh my belly up and down when I walked back into my room and laid down on my bed. It smelled like shit...no, it smelled worse than shit, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be out of my misery again. I ended up lying in bed all day Saturday, because just shifting around in bed made me want to barf. It's Monday morning now and my stomach still feels upset. I know in that football-shaped brain you're probably wondering why I just told you about all this...I just want you to know that I really do regret this and hope you forgive me and don't think any less of me.

Helga sighed, wiping away a non-existent tear with her writing hand, and swiftly folded the paper in half. She hadn't like what she had written and proceeded to tear it into many tiny squares. Taking a deep breath, she looked over at the clock again. Time was becoming a concern.

"Damn you, Olga." She said, snatching her backpack as she slid the chair back.

The letter's remains were shoved into a large pocket of her jean shorts, destined to be scattered about various trashcans and sewer gratings as she hurried to school. Her paranoia had no bounds, but she had known this for years. She stepped on a particularly clean patch of carpet as she grabbed her locket from the nightstand. One short peck later, and it was in her other pocket.

"I'll have to write you later, my love." She whispered, fearing possible eavesdropping.

Reaching out, she batted the curtains. The light danced as more dust was released into the air. She draped her backpack over her right shoulder and headed for the door, endorphins kicking in.

History class finally came in seemingly endless school day. Helga rubbed an eraser on the laminated stone desk, waiting to be assigned to a group for a project.

"Ok, the next group is: Rhonda, Eugene, Lila, Sid, Sheena, and Helga." The aged female teacher said.

Helga's eyes opened wider as she looked up from the eraser. Rhonda spun around to express her disappointment in not being paired with her best friend when her eyes met with Helga's. A brief staredown ensued, with Helga donning a menacing gaze. Rhonda broke away with a grunt, knowing how ineffective her usual assertiveness would be in controlling the direction of the upcoming group project. Helga lowered her eyes again and started tapping the eraser as she waited for the teacher to finish assigning groups.

"This might be fun." She thought, laying the pencil inside her unzipped trapper keeper.

"Ok, the last group is: Curly, Phillip, Nadine, Jane, Gerald, and Shay." The teacher announced, writing on her clipboard.

Helga closed her notebook, as the teacher asked all groups to assemble, wishing she had a class or even the same lunch period with Phoebe. The classroom quickly became made of six rectangles instead of one large square. By no accident, Rhonda sat at the opposite corner as Helga. Lila, wanting to continue being friends, sat to Helga's right, Eugene was directly in front of Helga, Sheena at his left, and Sid to the right of Lila. Today would only prove to be a preliminary run at the project, no actual work being completed, just talk. Helga only spoke when necessary, mainly due to Lila directly asking her questions. Most of the time she watched Rhonda out of the corner of her eye, looking for some sort of weakness to exploit. All she witnessed was Rhonda growing more and more frustrated as various papers fell out of her planner when she flipped through it. Rhonda accidentally ripped out a page and let out a characteristic groan before shoving it back. Helga grinned and turned her head to make a snide comment, but a glimpse of Nadine changed her mind.

"So, looks like you and me are researching the abolitionists." Lila said as she looked at Helga.

"Looks like." Helga said, resting her arm on the cold desk.

"Want to come over to my house tonight?" Lila asked, sitting attentively.

Helga thought about making an excuse for a bit, but changed her mind.

"Sure. What about right after school?"

"After school is fine." Lila smiled.

Helga glanced over at a weary Rhonda, who was rubbing at her eyes, and thought about all the times they had not got along in the past. It made her think of others she had fought with as well. She was sick of it, but didn't know to resolve it peacefully. She sighed, silently. The bell rang suddenly rang. Including Helga, most of the class gladly deserted the room, dreading the big project. Noticing Rhonda's distress, Nadine opted to stay for a moment.

"Don't!" Rhonda yelled, before pausing to quiet herself, "...touch it, Sheena."

Her lanky classmate recoiled, causing her tie-dyed shirt to snag a rigid piece of metal of the desk's built-on chair.

"Sor-ry." She said, grabbing her backpack and vanishing from the classroom.

Nadine's light blue, mesh shorts slid against the slippery surface of the chair as she sat next to her friend.

"You need to chill out."

Rhonda heard the statement, but ignored it as she worked the folded slip of paper Sheena had tried to pick up between some pages. Nadine continued to sit in worriment as Rhonda scribbled and circled at her planner.

"I've got to go to year book after school, then to a swim meet at 4, and a band concert at 7." Rhonda said, closing her planner and securing it with the wraparound elastic band.

"I thought you had golf practice today." Nadine said, pulling at her matching mesh jersey.

"Oh shit!" Rhonda growled, slamming her fist on the planner and gaining the attention of next hour's students.

Nadine glanced up to see if the teacher was in the room, but she had stepped out.

"If it bothers you this much, why don't you quit something?" She said in her caring, but straightforward way, "Or a few things."

Rhonda sighed as she dumped everything in her trendy, purple backpack.

"I can't." She said, "My parents would totally freak. They just gave me a speech about commitment a few days ago."

"Well, you gotta do something." Nadine said with a frown, "You can't go on like this."

Instinctively rushing her hands through her shadowy, black hair, Rhonda maneuvered out of her desk and flipped her backpack across a shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll have to figure something out." She said, her voice faulting.

"I hope." Nadine said, following her friend out of the room.

Helga prodded at her food as she lay in bed, thinking about working with Lila earlier in the day. Even though the streetlights had not come on, it was nearly dark.

"What is this crap?" She mumbled, setting the fork down and rolling to her back.

The family table was now a relic, only used for decoration. Helga never thought she'd miss it, but at least it wasn't as lonely as sitting quietly in her room.

"I think I have some cash." Helga thought, reaching into her right pocket, "Maybe I can sneak out and grab something good."

She pulled out a one-dollar bill and few coins.

"Maybe a bag of chips." She groaned, bending her left leg and sliding her foot under the kneecap of the other, in the shape of a four.

She tossed the money on her nightstand and used the same hand to gently claw at the side of her mattress. She suddenly realized that Arnold had not crossed her mind for most of the day. Feeling as if she had committed a felony, she clutched an exposed rope handle on the mattress. After a tense moment, she let go of the handle and frowned.

"To hell with this." She groaned.

Rolling over, she pulled her locket out of its usual hiding place and kissed it.

"We're going out, my love." She said, somewhat goofily.

She adjusted her shorts after standing and pocketing the locket. As she pulled her desk chair out, it jarred a dart loose from the board. Being a normal teenager, she blatantly ignores it and goes about untying her shoes as she failed to do so when slipping them off earlier. Suddenly, the phone rang. The blaring electronic ring almost ejected Helga from her seat. A frantic stare ensued for a couple seconds before she went for it. She picked up the dull, white receiver as she stood next to her bed.

"Hello?"

"Helga? This is Nadine."

Helga furrowed both eyebrows, feeling her private time with Arnold violated.

"Uh, yeah? What's up? She said, now sitting on the bed.

She heard an electronic sigh.

"I'm gonna be blunt, ok?" Nadine said, "I need your help."  
"My help?" Helga thought before speaking audibly, "Why?"

"Well, I ran out of other options."

"Gee, thanks."

"No," Nadine said apologetically, "It's that I can't get anybody to help."

"Well, what's the problem?" Helga asked, moving her plate to the nightstand.

Helga heard loud squeaking over the phone, deducing Nadine was shifting about in an old chair.

"It's Rhonda." She started.

Helga bounced back to her feet, and interrupted.

"Ok, I see why nobody wants to help now." She said, tempted to hang up the phone.

"Wait!" Nadine yelped, sensing the impending hang up, "I'm really worried about her...and asking you to help her should show you how desperate I am."

Helga gently bit her lip, acknowledging Nadine's point without speaking.

"So, what do you want me to do anyway?" She said, sitting back on the bed, "Help her fix a broken nail?"

She heard the electronic sigh again.

"It's her parents. They pressure her to do all this extra curricular bullshit to make her college application look better to some old guy in a suit." Nadine said, sounding somewhat angry, "She's gonna have a nervous breakdown one of these days."

Helga listened with apathy.

"Why don't you call one of her prissy friends to help her out."

"I did...a few, anyway." Nadine sighed, "I could tell they don't really care about her, just her popularity."

"Mm, hmm..." Helga mumbled, followed by a moment of silence, "Here's the real question, though. Why the hell should I help her?"

Nadine was silent for a second.

"Because I'm asking you." She said, "I know we've never been really close friends, but I've done things for you."

Helga rolled to her back, expecting a guilt trip.

"Remember when you couldn't pay your bill at some restaurant and called me?" Nadine said, "And had me bring down my cockroach collection?"

She accepted Helga's groan as recognition.

"You did say you owed me for that one." She continued, "Oh, yeah, and what about when I gave you the answers to that history test you missed last year?"

"Alright, alright!" Helga yelled, "What do you want me to do?"

There was another pause.

"I want you to help me confront her about it. The fact that -you- are confronting her with me might have more of an impact than one of her airhead friends, anyway."

Struggling, Helga sat upright.

"I'll think about it." She said, "But I'm not promising anything."

Nadine leaned forward in her chair, making it squeak loudly again.

"Ok. Just keep an open mind, please." Nadine pleaded, "I think of you as a friend, even though you piss me off sometimes."

Helga grinned a bit.

"Let me know at school, ok?"

"Sure." Helga said, dragging it out of her throat.

"Ok, I'll let you go, then." Nadine said, squeaking some more.

"See ya." Helga said, pulling the phone away from her face and hanging it up.

She grabbed the edge of the bed with both hands and flopped to her back. She found herself actually thinking about helping her adversary for a moment. Suddenly feeling the need for advice, she draped her fingers over the locket concealed under denim.

"Looks like we're not going out tonight after all." She whispered, using the tips of her fingers to tap at the locket's glass though her pants.

She rose to her feet, stretching and yawning, before cracking her fingers. Feeling refreshed, she sat back down and picked up the receiver again. Holding it with her right hand, she used the other's middle finger to tap at the numbers. She felt a bit anxious, for reasons she could not really understand, but managed it well. Several seconds passed before the digital bell was answered.

"Is Phoebe there?" Helga asked shyly.

Casually walking down the hallway during class intermission, Helga kept alert for Nadine. She waded through a small crowd, shoving through a few cheerleaders, as she rounded a corner. Looking down the aged corridor, she caught a brief glimpse of Nadine's unique combination of blond cornrows and milky caramel skin as it vanished into the bathroom. Helga stepped quickly to follow suit.

"Hey." Helga said, lifting an arm towards her acquaintance.

"Oh, hey." Nadine replied, looking up from her paint-covered hands in the sink.

Helga noticed a faint pimple on her forehead as she glanced at the mirror.

"I'll do it." She said, scratching at her forehead, "I'll help you...I'll help – her."

"Really?" Nadine asked, washing the last of paint off her hand, "What made you do it?"

Helga looked herself in the eye, then back at Nadine.

"I talked it over with someone. They made me realize it's the right thing to do."

Nadine pulled two brown paper towels from the dispenser behind Helga and vigorously dried her hands.

"Your sister?" She asked.

Helga looked away, smiling a bit.

"Yeah, my sister. The best sister I've ever had."

Nadine was a little confused at the comment, but ignored it.

"Ok, how about you meet me outside the cafeteria right after school?"

Helga nodded, having no problem with the timing.

"Sure. I'll see ya there." She smiled.

Helga emerged from the bathroom and headed to her next class, wondering how the intervention would unfold. She slyly unwedged the doorstop as she entered her history classroom, for her own deceitful delight. Sliding into her corner desk garnered Lila's attention.

"Hi, Lila." Helga said, uncharacteristically sincere.

Lila showed her teeth as she shared a pleasant grin. Helga noticed Sid removing books and supplies from his bag as she did the same. Lila looked over and greeted him, grinning again.

"So, have you thought about it?" He asked her, placing his left hand on her back.

"Um..." She started to say as he slid his hand to her shoulder.

She stiffened up, looked at his hand, and then at him.

"Please take your hand off my shoulder." She said, using her own left hand to pull his fingers.

Helga was spying out of the corner of her eye and noticed him sulk a bit, obviously disappointed. Lila rested her hands on the right ledge of her desk and leaned towards him a bit.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry..." She pleaded, "Clutching at the edge of her desk, "I didn't mean to sound so mean!"

He seemed to bounce back as he looked up again.

"It's just, um, I'm kind of sore." She continued, pulling the strap of her yellow tank across her freckled shoulder, "I'll be happy to go with you to the football game Friday."

He smiled and started to say something, but was drowned out by the bell ringing. As Helga wondered if Lila understood she just agreed to go on a date, she noticed Rhonda slamming her backpack on her desk and slumping into her chair, immediately folding both arms over it and burying her face.

"Ok, class." The ancient teacher said as she waved a stack of papers, "I'm passing out an outline for your project."

Rhonda sluggishly lifted her head and pinched the fleshy fold between her eyes. It was obvious to Helga by the dark blue blemishes under her eyes that Rhonda was exhausted. Helga surprised herself by feeling empathy for her longtime rival, but knew a part of her was sadistically enjoying it. Resting her head on her left palm, she watched as Rhonda removed her gear and dropped her backpack to the side. She organized everything on her desk with her planner close-at-hand, of course. Rhonda gripped a pen and raised it, giving the impression she was going to stab her history book, but after a few tense seconds, dropped her fist gently to the side.

"Phoebe's right. I have to end this." Helga thought, "A great chance to make peace...and make myself feel better."

Popping her neck, Helga watched as the teacher handed Nadine several papers for her group.

"Would you like a mint, Helga?" Eugene cheerfully asked, extending his arm with a half-empty roll protruding from his hand, "They're really very good!"

Helga looked at him for a brief second before sitting back up straight.

"Er, what kind are they?" She asked, almost mumbling.

"Uh, peppermint I believe." He said, glancing at the package.

She cringed, instantly feeling nauseous.

"No thanks." She almost growled, resting her right arm across her stomach.

Helga sat next to her backpack on a faded, yellow sofa in Nadine's apartment. The brick building was very old, evidenced by dozens of cracks and missing plaster, but was quite sturdy. She could hear Nadine in the kitchen directly behind while casually crossing her legs and looking at all the old stuff in the room.

"Maybe I'm luckier than I think." She thought, feeling bad about her attitude suddenly.

She looked at the, at least, 15 year-old television and then to a ripped, plaid recliner.

"She's on her way." Nadine said, entering the living room, "She only had swim practice today."

Helga sighed.

"I hope I don't do anything stupid," She thought, "I really do want to end this."

Nadine moved Helga's bag to the floor and took its place.

"I really appreciate this." She said, sounding sincere.

Helga nodded as if she was agreeing with something.

"Don't thank me yet." She thought, interlacing her fingers and sinking into the cushioning.

Helga slowly turned her head to look at Nadine and smiled.

"I'll behave." She said.

Nadine smiled, feeling the potentially volatile situation she had set up diminishing. Helga closed her eyes and started swimming in her thoughts. Nadine left silently to the kitchen and several minutes passed.

"I'll make you proud." Helga thought, opening her eyes and leaning forward.

She felt the cold, slick metal of her locket when she reached deep inside her pocket. A few more minutes passed before there was a knock at the door.

"Showtime." Helga said to herself.


	4. The Acknowledgment

(Note: I didn't proofread this throughly, so there may be a few mistakes in tone and such)

Episode 4: The Acknowledgment

The gentle tick of a few decorative clocks and the subtle buzz of a slow spinning ceiling fan occupied the otherwise silent house, save for one of the bedrooms. Inside, Rhonda sat on the edge of a bed, bent over and weeping openly as her best friend attempted consoling her by rubbing her on the back. Helga sat on the bed with the others, uncomfortably sandwiched between Rhonda and the wall. As Nadine started verbally soothing her friend, Helga's eyes began to scan the room. She glanced at the dusty light cover and then down at a cheap desk with a couple red bricks where a missing leg used to be. She started rolling a basketball back and forth with her shoe as she caught a glance from Nadine, inaudibly telling her to help.

"Oh, yeah." Helga blurted, "You can't just let them run your life like that. It'll drive you nuts."

She felt as if she spoke from some experience. Rhonda seemed to ignore her words, continuing to sob for a moment, and snatched her friend in a bear hug.

"Thank you." She wept, "Thank you so much!"

Nadine was silent, only hugging back. Helga sat with both hands on the bed's edge, watching them. Several seconds passed before Rhonda released the hug.

"Thank you!" She said, pulling at Helga's arm, "Really, it means a lot to me."

"Uh huh." Helga muttered, discretely prying her arm free, "Any time."

Both cheeks drenched, Rhonda climbed to her feet with Nadine's help. Helga quickly stood as if instinctively trying to discourage either from sitting down again.

"Tell them. Tonight, ok?" Nadine said, squeezing Rhonda again.

"I will." She replied, shaking her long hair from her face.

Helga stood in awe; she had never seen Rhonda like this. Shouldering Rhonda as if she were injured, Nadine guided her out of the room, leaving Helga feeling awkward.

"Well, that wasn't too bad." She sighed with relief, gently wedging the basketball between the bed and floor.

She looked around, trying to find something interesting enough to pass the time, and noticed a folded map sitting on the desk. Instinctively peering into the empty doorway to make sure she was not secretly being watched, she headed to the desk fondled the thick paper. As she unfolded it, her eye caught the gleam of a shiny basketball trophy sitting atop a miniature bookshelf next to the desk. It took a second, but she soon realized the shelves were filled with trophies and medals of various years. Her attention went back to the paper, as it was now completely unfolded.

"Australia?" She mumbled, raising a brow, "Why does..."

A muffled, but loud, bump startled her, causing the map to be refolded and dropped within seconds. After she realized she was safe, it hit her that the front door had closed, making her slide her hand over tied back hair. Nadine entered just as she glanced at the door again.

"Well, thanks." Nadine said, alluding to both her participation in the event and restraint from confrontation.

"No problem." Helga responded, walking over to the end of the bed, "I guess I'll go."

Nadine followed her into the living room silently, a bit hesitant to speak.

"Wait." She blurted as Helga started to grab her backpack, "You want a soda… or something?"

Helga let go of the strap and stood erect.

"Sure," She said, "That actually sounds good."

Helga pulled a chair away from the old, but well maintained, wood table and slid into it knee first. She looked at the large, white bulb covering the light of the buzzing ceiling fan as she heard Nadine open and close the refrigerator.

"All we got is diet." She said, sitting at the opposite end of the table and sliding the can across the uncovered surface.

The can came to rest and quickly sweat into Helga's palm.

"That's alright." She said, "My sister drinks it. I'm used to it."

Moments later, two spurts of carbon dioxide were released into the air and each took a big drink from their can.

"How's your project coming along in history?" Nadine sighed.

Helga tilted her head to the side, gently rubbing her index finger along the sharp edge of the can's hole.

"Alright." She muttered, "What about you?"

"Fine." Nadine answered, looking down at her can.

A few seconds of fan buzzing passed and nothing was said. It felt tense, even though there was no real reason.

"I heard you wanted to try out for the football team." Nadine suddenly said.

Helga sighed.

"No. I mean, I thought about it, but no."

She started rubbing the outer rim of the can now. Nadine let her eyelids fall as she tried to think of something to keep the conversation going.

"Uh," she started, "So, what do you like doing after school?"

Helga shrugged and kept rubbing the can.

"Whatever." She said.

Nadine sighed, letting her anger come through. Helga looked up to see her frowning.

"What?" She asked.

"What?" Nadine repeated, "I'm doing my best to be nice to you-to be a friend, like we used to."

"Yeah?" Helga said, still rubbing.

"Yeah, and you're really pissing me off!" Nadine exclaimed, "So why don't you just leave."

They stared at each other for several seconds. Helga finally let her head sag.

"I'm sorry," Helga muttered, "Can I stay?"

The fan's buzzing overshadowed Nadine's faint sigh.

"Yeah, sure." She said, leaning back in her chair.

Helga took a big drink, feeling as if she dodged a bullet.

"Um, so why do you have a map of Australia in your room?"

Nadine folded her arms on the table as she leaned forward again.

"My grandpa's from there." She said.

Helga nodded, finally taking her hand of the can.

"Oh, really? That's cool."

"Yeah," Nadine said, "What about you? Your family?"

"No clue...here, I guess."

It was quiet again, for a moment. Nadine suddenly smiled and let out a giggle.

"Remember the time when we got caught sneaking into the movies in sixth grade?"

A small grin formed across Helga's face.

"Yeah, and if you wouldn't have been such a chicken and hesitated, we wouldn't have been caught."

Nadine shook her head slowly.

"Yeah, yeah...if you weren't such a bad influence, I wouldn't have done it in the first place."

They both shared a small laugh.

"What happened?" Nadine said as she sighed, "We used to be pretty close."

Helga shrugged.

"I..." She paused, "I kind of have problems with trusting people."

"What do you mean?"

Helga ran a hand over her pulled back hair and took a breath.

"Well, I just try to avoid getting close to people. I'm not really sure why."

Nadine wiped the sweat from her can with her pinky fingers.

"You don't have anything to worry about with me." She said, smiling.

Helga smiled, rubbing her index finger and thumb together as the back of her hand absorbed the coolness of the can.

"Look," She began, "I...uh."

Nadine still rested on her crossed arms, waiting for her to continue.

"I better...get going." Helga continued, "I'm supposed to get home soon."

Nadine suddenly looked sad.

"You don't have to leave, you know."

Helga quelled some forthcoming sweat, lifting her skull directly in the fan's stream and letting out hot air.

"Alright...alright, I'll stay for a while." She said, grinning weakly.

Their conversation would extend multiple hours.

A few days passed since the intervention and reconciliation occurred. Helga stood at her locker, shoving all her worldly possessions into it. She could sense someone approaching, but did not dwell on who it may be.

"Hey."

Helga turned her head to the left and smiled.

"Hey, what's up?" She said.

It was Nadine.

"Wanna come to the park with me? We're going to play some ball."

She held up her basketball. Helga lowered her head a bit.

"No. Well, I mean I can't." She said, "I have a doctor's appointment."

"Ah." Nadine said, sounding disappointed, "That's cool. Some other time I guess."

"Sure." Helga said, smiling again.

"See ya." Nadine said, trotting off.

"Bye." Helga said after the fact.

Helga concluded filling her locker and closed the door.

"Hey." Someone said, this time to the right.

A bit startled, she spun her head in that direction and frowned.

"Hi." Brainy said, waving.

He looked as dorky as ever.

"Hi." Helga responded with a distinct annoyed lilt.

"I was wondering if..." He started, "Uh, you'd like to go to the dance with me next week."

Helga stared at him for a moment.

"You know..." She said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I think I will."

She positioned herself so that his back was against the lockers and placed her other hand on his remaining shoulder.

"Cool." He managed to say.

"Now..." She said, leaning in closer, pressing her chest against his, "There's something I've always wanted to give you."

He felt like fainting.

"Close your eyes." She whispered.

He did as commanded and a few silent seconds passed, as the hallway was empty.

"Here we go..." She continued, whispering.

With all her might, she lifted her right knee into his crotch, making a sickening thud. After holding it there a second, she dropped the leg and stepped away from him. Predictably, he grabbed himself and growled in pain as she slumped to his side. Sadistically satisfied, she watched for a brief moment, before escaping before any witnesses came into the picture. She hopped down the stairs from the side of the school and walked to a bus stop at the end of the block. The bench was already full and a few others stood about. Most were older people, but Helga spied student she had seen in the halls. Instead of sparking a conversation with the older boy, she leaned against the large bus stop sign.

"I wonder what she's going to talk about today." She thought, sticking her hands into her pockets.

She looked over to an elderly couple on the bench. She watched inconspicuously for nearly three minutes until the distinct diesel engine of a downtown bus rumbled in the distance and disturbed her focus. It squeaked as it stopped, causing everyone to wake from their dormant wait. Helga was the last to ascend the rubber-lined steps and feed the coin machine. The bus was full, but not packed. Helga found a torn-up, but empty seat near the middle and rested her head on the cool window as the bus roared to life again. She glared out the window with nothing particular coursing through her mind. Her head bobbed back and forth gently with each bump. After several stops, she finally leaned back and folded her arms close. This once-every-three-month bus ride always made her feel anxious and lonely. The untying of her trademark bow was the first step to alleviating the butterflies. She would then roll the ribbon neatly into a ball and shove it deep into a pocket. The bus slowed to a stop and released a few passengers. Helga leaned forward, raking some of her hair to the front; doing so always made her feel less anxious. The bus drove over a large pothole, causing everyone, especially lightweight Helga, to bounce from his or her seat. Finally, Helga's weight was involuntarily shifted foreword as the bus driver continuously refused to use the brakes in moderation. Helga managed to break away from her mental hibernation when she glimpsed a restaurant near her destination. A few people quietly lined the aisles, influencing Helga's decision to get off as well. The bus sprayed its toxic gas as it roared down the street, leaving its children coughing. Helga was soon abandoned as everyone went their separate ways. She cracked her knuckles and began the three block journey to the clinic. A few weak breezes streamed through her hair as she rounded the nearby corner. Despite staring at them, she could not hear her footsteps on the concrete as cars were constantly passing in both directions. She was so focused on the ground that she almost ran right into an older kid, but veered to the right just in time. Stepping through the maze of gridlocked cars and weaving bikes, Helga managed to cross the street for the home stretch. The four-story clinic sat at the center of a T-intersection, with three perpendicular roads coming to a point at its front doors. She stared silently into the closed blinds of her doctor's office for nearly a minute before crossing the street and opening the heavy metal door. Inside, there was a short hallway with another metal door at the end and a large, wooden door just before it on the right. The shiny, hardwood floor creaked and squeaked as Helga reached the wooden door. She always had to give it a little tug as it was solid, and therefore heavy. It closed behind her with an echoing slam, garnering the attention of two men awaiting their appointments. Her sneakers continued causing the floor to creak loudly as she approached a small counter protruding from beneath a sliding window.

"May I help you?" A somewhat older woman, still with her dark brown hair intact, said.

"Uh, I have an appointment with Dr. Bliss." Helga answered, leaning down a bit.

"Your name?" The woman asked, quietly.

"Helga Pataki."

The woman typed hurriedly at her keyboard for a moment before looking up at Helga.

"Ok, go ahead and have a seat. She'll be out to call you shortly." The woman said, smiling and adjusting her glasses.

The glass window shut almost instantly, leaving Helga to slowly turn and cross the room. She sat on the opposite side of the row of chairs as the two men had. It was awkwardly quiet, the only sounds coming from the floor as someone shifted siting positions and from the quiet hum of fluorescent lighting. She slouched and let her head hang, staring at her cupped hands upon her lap to pass the time. A few minutes seemed to linger for hours, but constant glancing at a clock above the clerk's window kept her abreast. Bored, Helga sat up and crossed her arms. There was a corked bulletin board across from her seat. It was somewhat far away, but if she focused, she could read the dozen or so notes and fliers appendant to it. Most were about disorders and conditions that she had never heard of, but among the colorful papers a simple white page caught her eye.

"Alcoholics Anonymous, huh." She thought, quickly looking away to a small coffee table a little to her right.

At first, it was the thought of her mother needing desperate help in managing her life. The longer she cycled through the magazines with her eyes, the more she saw herself as the one needing help. Heading down a long, dark road was a growing concern of hers. She was swimming in thought again, oblivious to her milieu. The waiting room extended pass the seating area and made a ninety degree turn to the right where another large door was. Helga could not hear it being opened and closed and the floor squeak as someone approached.

"Helga." A voice said.

Helga shot her head up immediately as she was startled. She realized it was her doctor, Dr. Bliss. After making eye contact, she silently rose from her chair and followed Dr. Bliss to the second door. Helga stroked her hair away from her face as Dr. Bliss entered a numeric code on the door's keypad. Once the auto-lock deactivated, she held the door open for her long-time patient.

Dr. Bliss sank into her worn, leather chair and crossed her legs.

"Sorry for having to walk up the stairs." She said, "The elevator is out of action again."

Helga sat in one of two foamed chairs in the modest office and twiddled her feet.

"It's ok." She replied.

With the back of her hand, Dr. Bliss scooted her warm coffee mug towards the back of her desk and picked up her clipboard with Helga's file already affixed to it.

"Ok, we can get started." Dr. Bliss said, brushing some fuzz from her red blazer, "Are you still 15?"

"Yeah." Helga said.

Dr. Bliss made a few strokes with her pen.

"Have you made any trips to the hospital since we last met? Any new medications?"

Helga just shook her head.

"Ok." Dr. Bliss muttered, writing again.

Helga counted four ticks of silence from Dr. Bliss's wrist watch.

"So," Dr. Bliss said smiling as she dropped the clipboard to her lap, "What's new?"

Helga cocked a brow for a moment.

"Well, my mom's in jail."

Dr. Bliss's eyes opened with surprise and started to say something, but Helga continued.

"She hit a phone pole or something with her car...while drunk...and they sent her to jail."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Helga." Dr. Bliss added while there was a moment of quiet, "Did they assign her any community service or anything?"

"Well, I did hear my dad say something about that and AA."

"At least she'll be getting some help." Dr. Bliss assured, "Has she been drinking again lately?"

Helga swallowed, thinking of the lies she told Dr. Bliss about her mother.

"Yeah, a little." She said, lying, "She's going to be getting out of jail soon."

"Well, I wish your mother the best." Dr. Bliss said, nodding her head, "What about you? How has this situation with your mother made you feel?"

Helga suddenly quit playing with her shoes and sat up straight.

"It sucks." She said, "I mean, I hate it. I want it to end...I'm sick of dealing with it."

Dr. Bliss tried to say something, but Helga continued without hesitation.

"I just want her cured or dead." Helga said, before looking down, "I don't want her to die...she's never been much of a mother, but dammit, I don't have much else."

She felt like crying, but refused to show weakness.

"That's right." Dr. Bliss said soothingly, "We have to make due with what we've got. What happens to your mother is up to her. However, you can help by showing your love for her. I know that's hard for you to do, but you don't have trouble talking to me, right?"

Helga nodded.

"Like I said, your mother has to make her own decisions, but you can influence them because I know she loves you."

Helga nodded again.

"Ok, I'll try." She smiled.

"Great!" Dr. Bliss smiled back, lifting her clipboard to jot down a few sentences.

Helga started rubbing the knuckles of her right hand with her opposite thumb, waiting for the scratching pen to stop.

"Ok, do you think you're still depressed?" Dr. Bliss asked after reading a note from their last visit.

Helga let her head rock back and forth a bit.

"Yeah, kinda."

Dr. Bliss bit her tongue as she jotted yet another note.

"Um, is it worse?" She asked, "Having any crying spells?"

"Hmm..." Helga sighed, "I'm not sure really. I'm don't think I've been feeling worse. I just haven't been feeling...anything lately. Just blank."

Dr. Bliss had been looking at her clipboard, but the last statement caused her to blink her eyes and glance up at her patient.

"Have you had any suicidal thoughts?" She asked, somewhat sternly.

Helga licked her dry lips and took in some air before speaking in a quiet, gritty manner.

"Yeah, sometimes."

Dr. Bliss leaned forward from her casual posture and adjusted her matching red skirt.

"Helga, I want you to be honest with me." She said a bit quieter than normal, "When is the last time you thought about harming yourself?"

"I don't know...a week or so ago, I guess. I don't really think that hard about it. I'm usually in the shower or in bed when I start thinking about it."

"So, it's when you're along, I assume."

Helga nodded quickly. Dr. Bliss laid the clipboard on her desk and then the fancy pen on top of it before sliding it towards the center. She sat at the edge of her chair, leaning forward, with her hands cupped between her knees.

"You haven't thought of...how you would do it, have you?"

"No..." Helga responded, shaking her head slowly, "I don't really plan on it, I just...well, life sucks you know."

Dr. Bliss stared into Helga's eyes, even though the act was not returned.

"I must say this concerns me, Helga." She started, "You know, or I hope you know, that even though we're not related, I want the best for you. You've been seeing me for over six years now and I hope you know that you can come to me with any problem whatsoever."

"I know." Helga muttered, her voice cracking.

She could feel tears lining the bottom of her eyelids and took slow, deep breaths.

"Good." Dr. Bliss said, reaching out and placing her hand on Helga's slowly rocking knee.

Helga looked up and gave a slight grin. Dr. Bliss turned to her desk and opened the top drawer.

"I want to try something, Helga." She said, pulling out a couple small slips of paper, "I want to start you on some medication on a trial basis."

"You think I'm crazy?" Helga said without wavering.

Dr. Bliss almost snorted as she tried to suppress a laugh.

"No, you're not crazy, Helga" She said, scribbling on one of the slips, "It's just that sometimes people need more help than words can provide. There's nothing wrong with taking medicine for your feelings."

Helga was silent, but believed the doctor as she cherished her greatly.

"Will it make me goofy or pee blood or something?" Helga asked.

Dr. Bliss smiled.

"No. I'm giving you a low dose of fluoxetine. It has some side effects like nausea, insomnia, headaches, loss of appetite, and drowsiness."

"Geez..." Helga said.

"Don't worry, the odds are you won't get any side effects. And even if you do, it's likely to be few and mild. This drug has been around for almost forty years and has been approved for children."

"Oh, ok." Helga responded, still sniffling a bit.

"Now, I do want you to let me know if you are feeling worse. There have been some rare cases where people have gotten bad rashes and had abrupt mood changes. I don't want you to worry, though, these things are extremely rare. Just remember that the medicine is to make you feel better, not worse."

Helga nodded as if agreeing.

"If if does make you feel a lot worse, either physically or emotionally, I want you to contact me as soon as possible, ok? If you can't get a hold of me, go to the hospital. In fact, here's my cell phone number."

She grabbed a sticky note from her desk and jotted down her details.

"I usually don't make such a big deal about it, but well, I shouldn't say this, but I'm grown quite fond of you."

Helga smiled as she took the lime green sticky note.

"I don't know what I'd be like now if I never met you." Helga said quietly.

Dr. Bliss smiled before turning to write on the remaining blank slip of paper.

"I want to see you next month." She said, writing it down on the slip.

Helga stood, knowing the appointment was coming to a close. After a few seconds of more scribbling, Dr. Bliss also rose to her feet.

"Alright, I'll see you next month." Dr. Bliss said with a smile as she handed over the prescription and appointment sheets, "It's on the prescription, but I want you to take one pill a day, in the morning, with breakfast."

Helga suddenly lunged for and hugged Dr. Bliss, causing some surprise.

"You're going to be fine, Helga." She said, hugging back.

"Thanks to you." She responded, releasing the hug.

After exchanging farewells, Helga left the room, closing the door behind her, and headed back to the ground floor to officially schedule her next appointment. Dr. Bliss fell back into her leather chair and sighed. She reached for her pale yellow mug and took a big sip of room-temperature coffee. With the same hand that sat the mug back, she pulled her clipboard closer; she had a lot of writing to do.

The trip home was uneventful just as Helga's father who unintentionally seemed to have fallen asleep on the sofa. Helga was tempted to leave the prescription on the coffee table, but reconsidered.

"Maybe later." She thought, heading into the kitchen.

"Hi, Helga!" Olga squealed, holding a large pot with potholders on each hand, "Dinner is almost ready."

"Oh, alright." Helga said, grabbing a half-empty bag of pretzels from the counter.

"Could you go wake daddy for me?" Olga asked, now sitting the pot in the center of the dining table.

"Sure, I'll get right on it." She said, leaving the kitchen.

She passed her father as she munched on the somewhat stale junkfood. She made her way to her bedroom and ritually emptied her pockets onto the nightstand. The pile of junk was topped with the pretzel bag before she flopped into her bed and kicked off her shoes. She cocked her head to the side and stared at the heart-riddled wallpaper from her youth. Nothing particular came to mind at first, but a flashback soon came to fruition. It was third grade and Valentine's day. The time had come for the class to exchange cards. Helga had only one Valentine to give and it was handmade. It was also signed anonymous. She held it close, waiting for an opportunity to inconspicuously drop it in Arnold's box. As she circled the room, she never took her eyes off Arnold, trying to make sure he would not see her around his desk. He shot around the room so much, the opportunity never came. She sulked back to her desk as the teacher ended the exchange. Everyone immediately dug through their cards. Helga dumped her three cards onto her desk. Brainy's card was ignored while Phoebe and Arnold's were read. She knew that Arnold only gave her a card because of his sense of fairness, but it didn't prevent her heart from melting anyway. Helga's "box" was nothing more than a paper bag that she quickly trashed, along with all but Arnold's Valentine. She tucked it inside her dress pocket, alongside her nameless Valentine. As class let out, a whim came over her. She waited by the door for Arnold. As he drew nearer, she took a step forward and snatched his box of multiple cards. Like a bullet, she ran down the hallway, and rounded a corner. Quickly, she yanked her Valentine from her pocket and shoved it in the small slit on top of the box. Just seconds later, Arnold and Gerald bolted around the corner, almost plowing into her. The moment Arnold came to a stop, Helga shoved the box into his chest with enough force to knock him to his behind.

"Happy Valentine's day, football head." She cackled, before walking away from her frowning classmate.

"Helga!" Her sister yelled, ruining the fantasy, "It's time!"

Helga had been smiling unconsciously during her flashback, but it had now faded.

"Alright." She said, following Olga out of her room.


End file.
